The Spoon
by xxmisfit121
Summary: In which Kid is eccentric, Black*Star is egotistical, Liz is Indifferent, and Patty really just wanted to lick the spoon.


_A/N: This idea came to me while I was making brownies after watching far too many hours of SoulEater. Hope they aren't too out of character. I've never written a soul eater fic before and I have a feeling they're drastically different than writing Naruto angst. Hope it's okay. ^-^'_

_I Don't own SoulEater_

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><p>It was late in the evening and Maka and Soul had finally arrived at Gallows Mansion. Tsubaki and Black*Star had already made it and, though they'd only arrived five minutes earlier, Black*Star let out an exaggerated sigh in melodramatic disgust as they entered the living room.<p>

"AUGH! Jeez, you guys are late," he said. "'Course, you guys could never beat the great Black*Star anywhere anyway."

Everyone present just rolled their eyes and ignored his bigotry. "Black*Star..." Tsubaki sighed. Black*Star was sprawled out on the couch, already in has pajamas. They were all spending the night.

"Anyway," Liz said, gesturing to the room. "Thanks for coming over and stuff. Hopefully Kid will let us have some fun tonight,"

"Yeah. Hopefully he'll be cool about everything," Soul said, flopping down into a large armchair.

"Where is Kid, anyway?" Maka asked.

"Oh, him and Patty are in the kitchen," Liz answered nonchalantly. "Kid's trying to make brownies and Patty's 'helping' him,"

"Kid cooks?" Black*Star said, starting to laugh at the thought.

"Well, he tries to..." Liz sighed, sitting down on the couch on the opposite end as Black*Star. At that moment they heard what sounded like a faint argument coming from across the house with a fair amount of stomping. They could hear Patty's hysterical laughter as well as some indecipherable yelling quite clearly coming from Kid.

Maka and Tsubaki looked somewhat concerned, both wondering if they should go see what was wrong. They other three looked fairly uncaring.

"So his cooking sucks, I take it?" Soul said joining the others on the couch.

"Not really. Its actually pretty good. I'm glad too 'cause I sure as hell ain't gonna cook," Liz replied. "It's just... "

A very clear yell of "Patty!" came from where they assumed the kitchen was, allowing Kid to unintentionally complete Liz's statement for her. It was followed by hysterical, screeching laughter and a loud smash. Which itself was trailed by an even louder, "Dammit, Patty! I said no!".

"Should we do something?" Tsubaki asked timidly.

"They'll be fine," Liz said, waving her off. "Soul, did'jya bring that movie?"

"Right here," he pulled the DVD from his bag and threw it at her. Liz caught it swiftly just as a loud crash coming from the dining room that sounded distinctly like an obsessive-compulsive boy being thrown into a chair. "Ha! I still have it!" they heard Kid yell triumphantly. They then heard Patty hiss like a cat followed by further smashing.

"Patty! Stop it! Get off!" Kid yelled. Patty only responded with more hysterical laughter mixed with frustrated grunts.

"I wanna lick it!" She yelled.

"No, Patty! you'll get your germs all over it!"

At that last sentence someone had to say something and Black*Star felt he was most suited to do so. "What exactly are they arguing over?"

"You know, sometimes it's best not to ask," Liz responded, removing the dvd from its case.

"That does not belong in your mouth, Patty! Quit it!"

"Lemme lick it! Let go!" Patty yelled back in retaliation. "It's mine!"

They could hear them getting very close to the double doors dividing Liz and their guests from the two fighting. They could hear many objects being toppled over as the two struggled.

Everyone besides Liz was staring at the doors intently, both amused and disturbed at the same time. Liz was busy putting the DVD in the player and properly setting up the TV.

"You guys want popcorn or anything?" she asked.

Before anyone could respond, the doors flew open and Kid and Patty fell through, both clutching a chocolate covered mixing spoon as though their lives depending on it.

"Patty!" Kid yelled again, his voice actually becoming hoarse from yelling so much.

"Let me lick the spoon!" Patty hissed as she actually flipped Kid over onto his back. He still didn't let go. He would _die _before he let her have this spoon.

"Kid, just let her have the spoon," Liz said apathetically.

"No! It's a mixing spoon! Mixing spoons _never _go in anyone's mouth! They're just not supposed to!" He said, tugging on the spoon in such a way that Patty fell to the floor beside him. He tried to get himself back up in order to gain in advantage, but Patty quickly wrapped her legs around his waste in the most awkward of manors and held him where he was.

"Give. Me. The Spoon. " She said in her most threatening voice.

"Never," He hissed back, finally managing to free himself from her grasp and pull them off the floor again.

Everyone besides Liz and Black*Star actually seemed entirely entertained by the ordeal. Liz just looked exasperated. Black*Star look thoroughly annoyed.

"Who do you two think you are trying to steal the spotlight from me!" He yelled. Tsubaki muttered something in an attempt to keep him quiet but was clearly ignored. "And besides! If anyone deserves that spoon, it's me; The Great Black*Star!"

Black*Star then jumped and tackled the two to the ground, grabbing a part of the spoon for himself.

"Let Go! It's mine, now!" he said as the three stood up again.

"This doesn't concern you, Black*Star!" Kid said, clearly annoyed.

Tsubaki sighed. "Guys, stop," she said in an attempt to quell the fighting.

"Come on, Kid, really. We'll just wash the spoon later. Just let go," Liz added.

"No! You don't eat off of mixing spoons! You just don't!" He defended, though his voice was muffled by Patty's foot which was currently in his face. She was trying to push him away from her using her foot and trying to pull the spoon toward her with her arms. She was close, too. She desperately tried to get it close to her mouth to lick it but even with her tongue out as far as it would go she couldn't reach. Black*Star pulling on the spoon as well was making things difficult.

"Patty, that's disgusting," Kid said.

"Hey! Stop hogging it!" Black*Star yelled, giving a particularly hard tug and pulling them to the floor again.

Liz sighed for the umpteenth time. "Alright fine. Be that way, Kid. But you're not going to win. Besides, you got chocolate on your shirt."

Kid's eyes went wide and he completely forgot about the spoon for just long enough for it to be taken from his hands. The other two continued fighting without him. He didn't even seem to care either. He was frozen where he was for several moments until, with terror overcoming him, he begrudgingly looked down at his shirt and sure enough, there was a dot of chocolate batter on his right sleeve. There was no batter on his left sleeve, nor anywhere else. Just on his right sleeve. After realization set in, he fell over into his side and curled up into a small ball.

"Oh god, oh god," His breathing had become heavy and labored as he stared down at the offensive stain. "What am I going to do? I can't have a stain on my shirt. I can't. I'll... " He looked like he was about to cry.

"Kid, it's going to be fine. If you wash it out now it wont stain," Liz reassured him.

"No. I should just die right now. How could I have even allowed my shirt to get anything on it? I'm worthless. Disgusting and worthless," He whimpered as Black*Star and Patty continued to viciously fight over the spoon.

"No, you're not, Kid," Tsubaki tried. "I'll wash it if you want,"

"Yeah, everyone get's stuff one their clothes sometimes. It's not a big deal," Maka added.

"N-no... I'll do it. That way it's done right," He said as he got up again. "I have to hurry though or it'll never come out. Ngh... chocolate on a white shirt. How awful..."

"You really are a girl sometimes, Kid," Liz said.

"Whatever! I have to get this off and clean it now!" He yelled as he ran down the hall, frantically trying to remove his shirt as though it were on fire.

"He's such a spaz sometimes..." Liz said to Tsubaki as they watched him sprint out of their sight.

"Victory!" Patty yelled, a spoon in her hand raised high in the air and a defeated Black*Star curled up on the floor beside her, clutching his crotch and whimpering in pain.

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><p><em>AN: Well uh... I don't really know what that was but I hope you enjoyed it. I also hope it wasn't COMPLETELY crack. _


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